


I Need Help Immediately

by abominandus



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Inspired by My Immortal, Intentionally Bad Spelling & Grammar, M/M, References to My Immortal, Retelling, contact me when youre all ready to talk about how my immortal impacted fanfiction as we know it, i know this isnt the content you wanted but! still content, i mean its in the warnings but yknwo, i would like to apologize to not only god but peter purves as well, oh hey i almost forgot a tag, this one is for the 2 other oliver and steven stans out there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 17,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abominandus/pseuds/abominandus
Summary: “Yeah, uh.” Olvier “Are we going to die here or something? This is not what I had in mind when I set out with you guys.”I sighed. “No, we’re not.” At least, I hoped we weren’t. “Shit like this juts AWLWAYS has to hapebnm whenever we land anywhere! It’s like we’re in a scifi seceres that just doesnt stop uppeing the ante.”-Experience the Oliver Harper Companion Chronicles like never before, and how you probably will never want to ever again! Follow along with the First Doctor's companion Steven Taylor as shenanigans bring him to London (1966), the Far Future, and somewhere around the 24th or 25th century! How will he fare with a new companion? Will he ever get character development that doesn't involve someone dying? And most importantly, can I fix the timeline?
Relationships: Steven Taylor/Oliver Harper
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1. 

AN: This is the only sense of normalcy you will get here. Yes, this is heavily based off of My Immortal, and I’d like to apologize in advance for any psychic damage you may take in the future. If you haven’t listened to the Oliver Harper audios, this is going to get really confusing really fast because it’s a shitty re-telling, so go and listen to them. Or don’t! The confusion might help, actually. Fangz (get it cause im goffick) to my good friend Cat for supporting my decision to write this :-) U rok! Watch out for the POV changes and the First Person POVs. 

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Hi my name is Oliver Harper and I am bald (unfortunately) but that doens’t rally matter because the important thing is that I wrk for an Unnamemfd Stock Trading firm and the year si is 1966 and I liek my job I guess but there is a terrible secret I have that would get me fire d but nobody knows so its okay. Not a lot of peolpe talk to me at work but it is oky because I makea the chash money. I’m a prep but like not a super popular prep (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly pinstripes. It s a uniform I guess and I don’t rekmember where I got them from, but we have a spare room of them at the office for …. some...reacson. Anyways, today I was wearing a white buttoned up shirt with a black tie, a balck and white striped waistcoat, a matching suit jacket , black slacks and oxford shoes. I aws sitting in my office so there was no sun, which I was neutral about. Nobody was staring at me because, again, In My Office. 

The phone rang and I picked it uup. “Hello, Oliver Harper speakign.” 

“Hey ummmmmmmm,” It ws my Good FRiend and Only That, Georgie. “The poliecce are on their way, I’m. so sorry.” 

I slammed the pohne down .I was done for! Shit!

Sudenlty, my someone knocked on the door. It was...Mr.Flowers, my boss! 

“What’s up Mr.Flowers?” I asked nervously.

“We need to talk, Oliver.” He said seriously.

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The Doctor was standing at the TARDIS consoel control grimley, meanwhile I stood acros the room from him, standing in shock. We’d just left Kembel, the thing in the middle of the consol was going up and down you know how it does, and all I could do was stand there. The Doctor started humming to himskefl and walking around as if nothing aws wrong,. and I wanted to shake the old guy. Yiknow just rattle him around liek a tin of mints.

“Hey, Doctor” I said, “Um, don’t you feel any grief? Any remorse? What the fuck just happened?”

“It was a aterrrible waste, my boy! A terrible waste, indeed. Hm.” He hmmed.

“Doctor, literally all of my friends are dead.”

He didnt say anything, hejust kept walking around the console rool. I suppose there isn;t anything I can do about it, so I just kept my thoughts to myself. What where those thoughts? Mostly screaming, maybe crying. I was tired, that’s for certain. Now that we’re halfway to the point wbher I having a mental breakdown, I should probably tell you who I am and what I’m struglging to comprehend. My name is Steven White-Boy-Of-The-Week Taylor, and I’ve bene travelling through space and time with this possible war criminal grandpa named The Doctor for roughly a year at this point. I dot even know if it’s been a year though, because the TARDIS, no matter what The Doctor says about how much he knows about it or his lack of telling me how it works, has no year counter. So that’s cool. Anyways, more about me: I’m fairly tall have thin brown hair that I sort of effortlessly style each day and fairly nice brown eyes. A lot of people tell me I resemble a himbo, but I’m not really sure what that is. I think it’s supposedt to be a compliment? Anyways, at that time I as wearing a blue-button up shirt tucked into some dark jeans. There was a bit of gravelly dust on my hands, which was sort of freaking me out, due to havhing just witnessed one of my only friends in several years, Sara Kingdom, age rapidly into dust. It wasn’t just her though, the whole plaent we were on (Kembel) just got dusted like in that one old movie Inifintiy War. Sara wasn’t the only person that died with me and the doctor, though, because there was also this girl Katarina and Sara’s whole brother Bret. They weren’t dusted, but they also died in horrible horrible ways. I’m probably going to have some nightmares about it I’f I’m being hinoesty about it. The consol in the middle of the room staopped moving and the doctor came back in. 

“Well my boy, shall we see where we’ve landed?” He hemmed 

“I think I need a minute Doctor. I think the tears just started give me a second.” I said sadly. I took a quick cry break and then I was aready to go. “Okay, I’m ready to go.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thea protagonists meet O_O WHt will they do ?? WHy do they meet??

Chapter 2. 

AN: I’m about to ruin my favorite character for myself via a twisted character analysis and I for one think that’s fine. 

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We stepped out of htb eh TARDIS onto a abandoned (or at least empty) street. It was a little anchient for my standarts, but when you;re from somewhere in the 24th or 25ht century, a looooot of stuff is ancient lol. 

“Look my boy, we made it! London, 1960...60 something!” Doctor hooted.

“i dont the reference doctor”

“Eh, it was worth a shot. WE could probably visit ian and barbara while we’re on Earth, hm!” he hammed.

That would be nice. I haven’t really gotten close to ian and barbara when I joined The Doctor in his travels they’d already left. Something about a dalek time machine and getting mack to their own time. idk I was super close to passing out when I got into the TARDIS Originally but thats not relevant so ill keep going. The doctor apparently wanted to visit the two if we could figure out where we were so we walked into a more populated street (after locking theTARDIS of course) to loko for an actual “phone booth.” Another shortcoming of the TARDIS, along with its missing year counter, is that its not actually a functioning phone booth or poleic box or whatever it appeared to be. in my time we didn’t really need landlines or phone boofs so all of the anshent technology was a little confusing to me. the Doctor finally found one, which looked like a sleekre, red version of the tardis, and we shuffled in. 

“Steven my boy do you have any quarters/” he wheezed searching through his pockets

“What the fuck is a guarter” I questioned

“You know like a big coin that we can use to use the phone.”

“....What a coin.”

The Doctor turned around in the small space and stared at me in that way that makes you worry about his eyes bulging out of his skull which I was used to at this point. “This is what i get for having two companions from the future in a row hm! Lets skidaddle on out of heer then.” And we got out of the phpnoe box. It was raining now, so we ducked under a nearby awning to get outof the rain. Just then while I was trying to figure out what the plastic screens people were carrying around on sticks weer, the doctor pulled on my arm and was pointing at….somethignm,. 

“Hm! What a curiosity!” He chorctled. 

I looked to where he was pointing, and where there should have been a person there was a …..mus.room thing? Humanoid? Once again another thing aout space and time travel is that aliens are real and so there’s a lot of strange humanoids out there but thats cool and all I already knew it being from the future, but this mushroom dude wasn’t like anyone id seen before. They were a mushroom with glowing red eyes right under the cap, and they were wearing a pinstripe suit but like how? theyre a mushroom? yeah they have arms and elegs but ???????

“I think we should follow it, hm!” The Doctor said.

“Lets go then” I replied, and then we took off from the awning to chase after this mushroom person. They began running too but we were still far behind them when something fell out of one of their pockets. They kept running but I stooped donw to pick up what ewas probably theyor wallet , and joined back up with the doctor, who, because he was old as shit, was on the brink of an athsma attack. 

“Should we return this to them?” I asked. 

“ehfgjsefjef” wheeze the Doctor

“Okay, I’ll take that as a yes.” 

We kept chasing after then,m until they ducked into a big skyscraper type building that said Stock Trading Firm on the side in red letters and we went in and immediately lost sight of them. The building wasn’t crowded really, but there were still a lot of people, just kidna spread out yknow. There was a secretary desk so we went up to it. The lady behind the counter looked at us. 

“Hey we found a wallet on the street and think it could belong to someone that works here.” I said.

“Oh, okay!” the desk lady began. “Do you remember what they look like?”

“Mushroom.” The Doctor gasped, still out of it from our run. The desk lady looked at him like hed lost his marbles, which honest,y he probably did. 

“I’m sorry about my….grandfather….um, no, I don’t remember what they looked like.” And I put the wallet on the desk. 

“Steven my boy I know you know they were a mushroom person!” The doctor hemmed.

“Excuse us for a minute” I apologized to the desk lady, who nodded understandibngly, and we turned around and walked a way a few paces. Old people, huh.

“Doctor I know they were a mushroom person, but if there were more, I don’t think--” Looking up, I saw at least four more mushroom people just walking around like buisnessmen just going to their 9-5s. “Okay, so there are more.”

“And I don’t think anyone else has notice d them! Hm hm! How strange!” The doctor r was recovered by now when he said this. 

“Actually, I’ve noticed them.” interrupted someone! I turned and and saw some dude standing nervously near us. He was bald, unfortunately, but had a hat (fedoria, I think?) on, and was wearing the same pinstriped outfit as the mushroom person that we’d followed in, only he looked much better in it than the mushroom person. He wa s shorter than me and kinda skinny. 

“Hm!” The doctor greeted. “The mushroom folk?”

“Yeah, uh, I thought I was hallucinating though so either we’re having mass hysteria or there’s actually something going on.” Continued the stranger. He wasa pale and lokoed all freaked out.

“It’s probably the ladder.” I said. I stuck out my hand to shake his. “But I wouldnt’ be surprized at this point if I started seeing things. I’m Steven, and this is The Doctor.”

He shook my hand warily. “I’m Oliver Harper.” 

The Docctor piped up form the back “So we should do something ahbout thse mushroom people, Hm?” He humed. “When did you firs tstatr seeing them, Ovire?”

“This morning after a…………...meeting with my boss.” Supspicious. But I didnt say antyghin because Oliver seemed loke a good guy. 

“WEll i think i’ll go talk to this boss of yours hm! Wehm, where might be his office?” 

“Here, I can take you to it, if you’ll come with me. The elevatrs are this way.” He gestured int he direction of elevetors and the doctor started off. Oliver turned to me. “Does he usually talk like that? I can barly figure out what he’s saying.” 

“It’s kind of endearing after ea while.” I shrugged and walked wiht him to follow the Doctor


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okey hte protagynests met ......wat now

CHapter 3.

AN: If two dudes were in a storage room together and one helped the other put on a tie would that be fucked up or what. 

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We figured out a plan on the excrushiatingly long elevato ride: The Doctor would go to the boss Mr.Flowers’s office while me and Oliver wouldgo look around for more of those Mushrorom people. The Doctor hopped off the elevatior at around the 19th floor, waved goodbye, and went heeehee hoohoo all the way down the hall at a volume where we could still herar him after the doors close. So much for a sneaking investigation huh? NAywas, me and Olvier took the elavator down to somewhere around the 15th flooor anf got off the elveator. He’d explained earlier that I woulnt; be able to get into the place we were going without the “proper uniform”, so he was taking me to a spare room the offices had for some reason that was straight up just work clothes. 

“I really dot know why we have this, but it’s useful!” He exclaimed as he opened the door. The room was expansive and had a lot fo suits and other clothes in there which was intersthifng I supposed. So I put on the white buttoned up shirt and the black slacks, but then I got stuck on figuring out how to tie a tie because I never learned. When your;e a futuristic space pilot they dont teach you these things so I struggled with it for liek five whole minutes. 

“Do you need help with that?” Oliver stood just watching me struggle.

“No, I got it I got it watch this.” I tried tying it again but . you know. 

“Jescus Christ you’re going to chocke if you keep this up here let me just” And then he tied the tie and I didn;t choke. 

“Thank you Oliver very cool” I wsa flushed but it was definetely from the angre of being not able to tie a fucking tie and not the close proximity to another person. Yes.

SO anyways I put on the rest of the outfit -- the waistcat and the suit jacket and the oxfords, and we headed out. But before we could hea d out, Oliver noticed saw it was still raining and ducked back into the room. He came back out wiht toom umbrellas, as I learned they were called, and handed one to me. 

“You don’t go to battle without your sword :-)’ he said. 

“Hooow did you say that last part wiht your mouth” I was freakd out but he didnt pay attention . “What do you mean by sword? What the f-”

“Comeon, we’ve ogt no time to lose!” And we left the building to go down to another building that was related to the Stock Trading Firm that was called a commodity exchange. Its weather all the deals are made and things are traded Oliver knew what they traded and told me but I wouldnt be able to tell you because they keep it rally vague and you know the Stock Market is a human invention and im not sure anyone lse has it, and it certainly wasnrt around in my time because people realzied that people should take more value over a funny thing called the Dow-Jones or whatever the hell it is, like I said it wasn’t around by my time. Investing money into a company or coorpitateron shoudnt be a defining factor in your inherent worth and I think that’s what was wrong with society in the twentieth and twenty first centuries, that money took moree value than human lives but Im absolutely going off on a tangent now I think im going to burst a blood vessile if i keep going. We walked into the commodity exchange and bgi whoop there wre more mushroom people. There were absolutely whay more than we had seen earlier because then there had been like four but know there were at least more than that. I counted around ten before Ilost count. They were all trading stocks or livestocks or wait is that why its called the stock market? Livestock? 

“I wonder what they’re all doing here.” Oliver thought out loud. 

“Maybe some sort of big off-planet/...investment? Is that the word?” I asked.

“Yes, that’s the word. Maybe we can--”

Suddenly, therejs was someone behind us! “Can I help you gentlemen?” It was who was suppose d to be…...Mr.Flowers! Except he wasnt a person at all, but a Mushroom man! And the Doctor was with him!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i dot aktully remmebr wwhat this chapter is about O_O

Chapter 4. 

AN: Sorry for the short chapter last time, I just got so mad about capitalism that I had to take a break and calm down with some video games. 

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“Docter!” I yelled whispered. “What are you doing?”

The doctor preteended like I hadnt spoken. He was just kina just kinda standing listening to Mr.Flowers talking about something related to the stocks or the exchange or whatever that Olivre was alsot listening to. Oliver looked a little panicked, but he was playing it off as best he could.

“I souldth be asking Mr. Harper here the same query.” Mr.Flowers sayd. His voice was rough and deep like tree bark or thea bottom of the ocean. 

“Oh, I’m just giving my friend here a tour of the facilities. :-)” Oliver smiled nervisly, doing that weird emoticon thing with his voice again. I nodded. 

It was hard to ftell what face Mr.Flowers was making because he was in fact a mushroom man. His glowing red eyes were njthgin short of greepy and they did nt show any type of emotion. He just stood there. We all stood there. It took everything in my too not groan because ewe were all kjust standing there. After what fejlt like forever,   
Mr.Flowers nodded and said, 

“Well,m I’ll let you get on with your tour, Mr. Harper. Just remember what we talkined about.” 

ANd them he led the Doctor away. The Doctor gave us a quirkcy thumbs up and walkled off following Mr.FLows, presumably on his own tour. Oliver and I looked at each otherh in a daze of sorts, like :waht the hell is going on?”” sort of daze. Confused. Thats the word.

“He’s never been that intimidtating.” Oliver murmeurd.

“It’s probably the mushroom thing.” I responded. 

“Definety the mushroom thing.” He said. 

As we started walking again i asked “Was he alwayas some sort of mushroom person?”

“No, I’m sure I would have noticed and I only noticed it this morning when he calle dme up to his office. ALhtough, come to think of it, I’m not even sure what he looedk like before…..Its liek all my mamories of him have been replaced by that mushroom hthing!” 

That was unsettling. “Thats unsettling.” 

“Yeah i knwo…...woild. Anyways, we’ve seen the whole facicitly, what do we do now?” 

I hadnt; thought of what to do after we looked through the whole place yet. We culd probably scout ou for more of those weird mursheoom people so I told this idea to Oliver. He said that it oculdnt hurt to try, so we did. We walked around the commodity exgcahnge again like nothing was wron, like nobody was a mushroom person just going about their work like it was a normal chewsday afternoon. Tis time, unlike last t ime, we saw some stsrange stuff which was a mushroom person checking if no one was around and dukcing into a backroom,. 

I looked at Olvier and said “Im gonan follow that person.” 

I heard a “Steven, wait!” form him, but I had already thrown open the door. I snuck around inside only to find some sort of loading bay. But not just any type of loading bay! it was some sroyt of. .. …………..spaceship loading bay! It was small for its purpose as the ships that were loading and unloading, cloaked by an alien deviece or course, looked like larger and twisted versions of the cargo ships I had flown just after flight school. So big evil cargo ships, if you believe it or not. I was ducked behind a stack of crates whne I saw one of the mre troubling beices of cargo ………. human pepoople! A group of poeple who werer somehow frozen were loadinged into one of the shops! My stomach churned as i turned around to go back, when a spotted the door left wide open. I know I closed that thing when I came in so that meant that either Oliver followe me or something very bad had happenfded to him. I almost leadpt from my hiding laplace to go check on him when someone held be back! I was getting read y ro throw hands when I turned and it was Oliver! Hed; snuck into the room to join me and by the look on hsi face (he was grimacing) hed seen what id seen. 

“Did you know about this?” I whispered. He shooke his head, esyes wide. 

“We need t o tell someon about this before the ships take off!” I whispered again ready to bolt away from the crates. 

“Ships?” Oliver questioned also whispeirng.

“Yeah, like space ships. Those are cargo haulders, exceupt its really fucked up cargo that they’re hauling so we need to go tell someon about this right now.”

“How do you know what those things are???” t

“I’ll explaijn it later, we need to go find The Doctor!’ I grabbed his hand and made a run for the still open door and we got out of there but someone yelled out behind us something like “Hey!” but we just kept running until we found the doctor, who was still with mr. flowers, and they had come back to the middle of the commodity exchange. 

“Docotr! I excaleimd , in a little bit of a panic “There’s some weird fuckery going on!” 

“Hm! Hm! I sure hope there isn’t, my boy!” zHe responded, seemingly completely unawayre of my and Oliver’s distress. I noted then that I was still holding Oliver’s hand so I lvet go quickly. This is because we were out of dangeer and not because it was a little bit ackward and close proximity again. Yes. 

“Wha seems to be the problem, Mr.Taylor?” Mr.Flowers questioned with a quiestnionting tone in his question voice . “I rather hope you didn t see anything ...unpleasant.”

“People are being kiddnapped into cargo haulers! That’s pretty unpleasant!” Oliver announced. 

“Hm...I rather horped you wouldnt have found that out, Mr. Harper.” Mr.FLowrs hard a dark tone to his foice. “You’re a good employee, but, a disposable employee. I’d rather not involve The Doctors...protegee? In this situation either, but alas.” 

“So what, you’re behind this?” I was geting fed up with this. “Doctor, you’re not siding with this clearly a metaphor for capitalism bullshit, right?”

The Doctor hmmed and hummed. “It’s hard to say wether I am nor not, my boy! “ 

“Youre Dcotor has a brilliant mined, mister taylor. I think he’d be a valuable asset to my stonks trading.”

What the fuck! Bye “Okay I’m done with this I’ll meet you bark at the TARDIS Doctor I’m going! Goodbye!”

“I’m gonna go too, I think.” Oliver said, and we started towards the doors. I was about to ask him what he was goghng to do after all this, but then suddently…….I couldn;t move!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SURPISE WEEKEND UPDATE! you thot you were safe but another chapter has pounced.

Chapter 5. 

AN: The Perpetual Bond is a good audio but just like everything in Doctor Who, it do not make sense. All I know is Steven have breakdown and new companion. CW for mentions of mistreatment of animals.

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Mr. FLowers sighed evilly. “Im know I said I;d rather not involve you , Mister Taaylor, but you’ve forced my hand.”

“Yo dont even have hands!!” I yelled befcause it was true. These dudes had weird stubs lke that old cartoon abot those powder puff girls. How was even fromzen thoguh? I caldnt look becuase you know. frozen. 

“Man you can see me? THat snot good.”

“Ohg mmyg od thats what the umbrella does!” Oliver groaned “Fuck shit”

“The.umblresla a sort of freesing gun?” I 

“I explained it earlier old boy!! What do you think my whole sword comemtn was about?!”

“Iodont know! It was raining! I thoght you just didnt want ups to ge trenched!” 

Mr Flowers wa not watchgnuing he was calling over some other mushroom men in the same pinstripes and i was geting pretty tired of pinstireps at this point but I cant really change a whole company uunifmorm that I dont even work at. ANyways the doctor was just standing there watching this all go down and I wanted to rattle him around like a tin of mints again but this time I couldnt not because of grief lake last time but because Mr.FLowers froze my fucking, . muslce.s

“Doctor!” I shouted to him. “Do something!”

“I’m afraid I cant my boy! Hmmhmmh It appears Mr.Flowers has made his mind up! Have fun being stuck in 1966, my good btich!” He hammed. The mushroom guard people were comgn over. 

What the hell?! Stuck here?! That was nt like the doctor i knew, what the fuck what the fuck@ I watnted to scream again! HELLO? Was it because he lost so many people recenlty that hie was jsjtu fine with losing me too? 

But then heweinked and suddenly I undestood. “WAit, 1966?” 

“DO i look elike a time traveler my bitch?” The dotot winked again. 

I turned to Olvire ias best I could when I coudnt move most of mty body although I was staruntg to regain feeling in my legs, 

“The Beatles are a thinking right now right? Right? The beastles?” I demanded

“h. Yeah? What do you mean ‘right now’?” He asked confusiedntly. 

“Im about to do osmethign that will probaby give you second hand embarassnment, so I apolgoxize in advance.”

“Oh god oh fukc” And then I thought very hard about the Beatless, which is something no human should eber have to do. I mean seriously nobody from my time likes the Batles except for like realllyl old people in the government so I guess that s why they play some of their songs every goddamn peace celebration and I, m goign to go insane I hate those preps . That’s why I only know one song by them and it happens to be the song that i think is the best because its absolutely coretct. I thought for a minuet for the melod y and then to spare myself the shame of sining a song by the beatles I hummed it instead here are the lurics so you know which song is the only good Bealtes song.

It’s okay to leave a dog in a hot car (hot car)

It’s okay to leave a dog in a hot car (ooh)

Nothing bad could possibly happen

If you leave a dog in a hot car

I hummed it anaing and surprisingly one of the mushroom guards went with it and so did another and the impossible happened as I realized I wwas no longer frozen,. The mushroom dudes including mr flowers were completely discracted by The Beeasltes because you know its 1966 and theyre irresistible I guess! Other people and mushroom people in the commodity exchange started picking up on it and humming along and you know what maybe the beatles werent that bad! No. No there were John Lemon was a horrible person. Oh god wait hes alive in 1966 right.

“Oliver, John Lennon’s alive in this year, right?” I was afraid.

“Yes? Look, that’s not relevaent right now we need to Get The Fuck Out Of Here! And when twe do you need to explain a WHOLE LOT of stuff!” He sadis and we made a run for it because the forzen had worn off by now and we ran out the door bt not befoer I flipped off teh Doctor but I dont think he saw it i was just mad still . We headed the fuck out back to around where the TARDIS was because I remembered it and we just kinda stood around it catching otur breath. 

“G0ddamnt I still don’t jave a key to this thing!” I grumbled, 

“Wh--The police box? Why woud you habe a key to a police box? Youre not a cop are you!?” Oliver looked panicked. 

“Man, no! All cops are bastards, they can quit their job at any time and combat the corrupt system they serve, but they dont. That’s the problem with your time and the next century!”

“Oh, yeah youre right. So hat is this? And hwat do you mean ‘my tiem’?” 

i I took a beep breath. “HTis is oign to be ahrda to believe, but ……………...…...mey and The Doctor are time travelers. “


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> expiseition O///O time

Chapter 6. 

AN: The Beatles thing from the last chapter is very much a real scene! Just not with that song. 

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“TImed travelers?” Oliver said shockedly “Youre joking”

“Absoluety not. “ I replide smugly serisouly. THinkkn about it this was a sort of reversal of when I first Joined the Doctor and Vikci. I wonder how she waas dogin in Troy . . “The TRADIS is a time machine and am not evern sure The Doctor is human but hed never admit to that I think.”

“Right, okya. So iif this is a time macine an the doctors possibly not human what are yuo guys doing in the 60s? Also it kindaof explains how you knew what those cargo shitp things were but not exaclty so why?”

“Well TARDIS is an acronim for Time And Reletive Dimentia In Space and The Doctor claims he knos what hes oding with the TARDIS controls but he can never land us in any chosien time or place so itsa big load of horseshit. We keep ocming back to the 60s for some reason liek there were two poel with the doct before me who wer from the 60s and I woudltn be surprise d if we come back some day and get another person from the 60s. Also I’m from teh future.”

“The futiue huh. RIght alrihgt. So we have spaceships in the future”

“YEah I piloted a few for a while before I got caught up with the Doctors’ shenanigans.”

He thot for moment. “Im sorry Steven this is all just really ahrd to believe.”

“That es fair I didnt blreive it wehrn I first hopped on and something tells me werre going ot have a converstiaton like this again at some potin. SO anyways we should proabbyl do something about the mushroom human trafficing we saw. “

“Oh my god yeah thats really something we should do. But we cant go to the police about it!” 

“Duh yeah I know cops dont do shit unless it allows them to abuse their power.”

Oliver lookefd at me all subrisedly but laso kinda in a nice way. God I miss human connections. “Maybe you are actually from the future. If anyone said that around anoyonie else theyd be called crazy. Anyways I was saying that for a different reason im petty sure Im a wanted man.”

“Like I said the 60s suck major doodee.” WAiat. “Wait, youre a wanted man?”

He looked away. “Its uha kinda complicated. Look we should probably get back ot the commodity exchange ad stop thoae guys.”

“OKay but we need to come up with a plan!” So we came up with a plan there was what I think was a ateleportor pad in the same room as the cargo ships because some mushroom dude steeped on it and disappeared so either he kkileld or it was a teleporter and this plan relies on that being a teleoporter. Like it'll be fucke dup if its not but eh it'll still work. We were going to go back and push some bithches onto it and then the problem would be solved! Look this is what you get we literally bonked our heads together at top speed and one coherent thought transferred. 

“Ow my head” I said sprawled on the ground after we had come up with our plan via bonking. “Well we should probably go do that now!”

“Can I like have a minute? my head hurts too :-(” Oliver groaned

“I wish but usually I just get up after experiencing head trauma. ANyways lets skiddadle or do I have to carry you there?”

“Ahaha… But like what if you did O_O………..Noactuallyyouknowwhat I think Im alright lets go” He got up quickly ad we started walking back to the Commodity Exchage.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> da last chapter of da first part!!!!

Chapter 7. 

AN: I think this might be the last chapter of this part ahahaah,.....stay tuned for The Cold Equations. I will say this little ending isn’t exactly how the audio ends.

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When whe got back to the comocidty exchange we just walked in because yankow its a public building people arent gonna like guard it or whatever but it was weird that we didnt see any mushrrom people out front. I guess theyre were just waiting inside for us tor eturn oir something but we had them fooled because we went in the back door that they left unlocked and the back door was directly into the cargo shit slash teleportor room. We walked int the back door and snuck around the cratses of some stuff and the cargo ships which there was one less of. 

“Fuck! there’s one less cargo ship” I wihispered angery 

“WEll damn= do you think they took the people with them?” Oliver whiepsrerd too

“Probably! We nee dto act fast!’

Suddenly Mr.Flowers welked into the room still with the Doctor Who if we ever got out of this situation I was differently erally going to rattle him around like a tin of mints you know just go grazy maybe concuss him a little bit . They were talking about monkey or stocks or something I dont know because it wasn’t important really, but we needed to get the doctor away from flowers because that was the guy we were going to get rid of first. 

How we’re we oging to get the docto\r away from him? No clue actually, but I thoihgt my aim was goog enough to get Mr.FLwores on the first try, and only action wuodl tell. So!

“Oaky im gonna do the thing now.” I said and then just knda popped out into the open and ran at Mr.Flwoers

“Hark! What the fresh hell is this!” The mushroom guuy said. 

I didnt say it but I thot A diversion babey! 

Because while i just ran around (yankow gotta go fast), Oliver was getting all the other mushroom people he oculd find and bringing them into the back. Instead of freezing me like the evil jeanius he was suposed to be, Mr.Flweors acktually gave chase! He was fast as fuck too so that was a littel scary and the space we were in was kinda small and I really thought he wans going to get me and he almost did! One of those moshroom arms reached out and almost grabbed the bak of my suit jacket but I . was still running. The Doctor just watched, content with himself going heehee hoo hoo ho mho!

Suddenly! Oliver came back in followed by a got damn HORDE of those mushroom guys and I almost tripped but its okay because I didnt! 

“Okay old boy!” Oliver shouted across the room. “Do the other thing!”

I gave him a thumb s up and then turned to tackle Mr.Flwoers onto the tleleportation pad thing. 

“WAAAAAAHHERJFKHRFJKnjkhefuisjlhahalkjajs!!!!!” He helled before disappearing completey, and I let out a whoop before realizing that 

Oh shit. 

I was also going to fall into the teleportor. 

Um. Fuck!

But then……………..somene grabbed me and yanked me back!1

“Hmmhhm! My boy, what the everyloving efuck was tha?t” It wasa………….The Doctor! 

“Doctor!” How did he do that? I thought his weak frail old man bones woud shatter and wasn;t he just across the room? ink redible. “Youre! You’re not still working with Mr.Flowers, are you?”

“Of course not! And I never was! Hmhhmhmmhm! Had you folled, didn’t I? Hmhmhm!” He hammed. 

“I was really going to rattle you around like a tin of mints after this, honestly. Yeah you had me ofoled!”

“Bah! THer;es no need for violence, my boy!” 

“Um, guys?” Olver ye;;ed still across the room “Can we tlak about all this after? Thers still like ALL these mushroom guys >:-(“

“Oh yea lol” Doctor said and then out of the blue, he just started beating the fuck out of these mushroom dudes with his cane. Grandpa snapped so hard the mushroom people were running to the teleporter of their own free will. I tried to help but seriously I wasa fraid of getting the shit beat out of me and I think Oliver was too so we just kinda stood watching The Doctor go apeshit.   
After the last Msuhrom perpson had gotten into the teleporter, we made the collective decision to destroy the thing so they coulldnt come back. When do you get a chance to destroy some cool technology? Isy very cathartic. 

About and hour later, me and teh Doctor were back at the TARDIS ready to hop back in and go one ome more sadventures. We were leaving Oliver behind to deal with the mess of all the shit had happened, but if I was being honest, I was gojgin to miss him. Mybae it was the fact that this was the first time in a while that I made a friend that didnt die due to probably my actions and I just relaly liked theguy, hbut not like That you know. Ahahaha. 

“Wll my boy ae you ready to go”? The ODctor humed askingly. 

“Sure . By hte waym are you eve going to give me a key?” I aksed. 

“.........It depends. Mayhaps someday! Let’s get on with it thought hmmhmm1”

SUdenyl, behind us, we heard a “Wait! Wait, please!”   
I turned and it was…………….Oliver! 

“Oliver?” I said shocketly, but his presence wasnt unewlcome. 

“Oh hello again my boy!” Doctor hmmed. 

“I...I was weondering if I could come with you guys.” 

That was certainly not whwa t I was exploecting to hear. 

The Doctor tileted his head “You do, hm?”

“I thought you didn’t believe me!” I added on

“Well, I changed my mind!” He loeksd a little worn out, probably from running here from the Stock Exchange Building were we left him. “There

s just, you know……..” He sighted. “I don’t think there’s much left for me here.”

“Oh man I get that actually.” I said. 

“Well, the TARDIS is pretty big on the inside!” octor said. “I supose we do have room for 0noe more!”

“Wait, really?” 

“DOctorrm, can I talk to you for a minute?” I said. Something was bugging me. 

“Achr sure I suppose.” We turned sour backs to olvier and were whispering. 

“How can we be sure he’s not going to. You know…. die?”

“Hm! Youre just being paranoid my boy!”

“Doctor, I really don’t think I am. I don’t think I could take it if anything happened to anyone else that joins us. Every death up to this point up has been my fault, and I don’t want it to happen again.” 

The Doctr was quite for a minute thne he ut a hand on my shouldre. “Steven my boy, thohose weren’t youre fault, wether you believe me or not. Oliver will be fine., “

I gave hup. “Alrihgt. ...Thank you , doctor. “

He patted my soulder, hummed, and turned back around. 

“Well? Are you just gogn to stand there or aroyer you goignt o get atin tinot?”

“Baller” Oliver exclaimed and then walked up into the TARDIS with us.


	8. PART 2 : Back Once Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wht if we rre both in space and we got separated form outr friend and mentor ahahaha hah......

HCPater 8. 

AN: Sorry for luering you into a false sense of security last chapter! Anyways, time to fuck up the second audio in this series, The Cold Equations! Hope you’ve enjoyed so far :-) There probably won’t be a weekend update this time, I need to write a few more chapters.

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Have you eveyrhe had a dream that you. So imaginge yor alsoep, or your think youe alseep, and sugdenly yiur relifing the worst mamories of youre life. I’m talking watching oeople die or gogn down nun a crashing spacecrraxft and you cnnat do anythig about eithebr. I fidnd mysef back in the spacship Katrairna theee hersolf our of then airlock in and I m watched it happen again. Then im bin the TARDUS lookig at the radar in Kembel arfter barley getting the Doctor inside and wathcing Sara dssiolve just like That and aaaaargegrh man. I. Eveyrhtjjgn sucks and is bad! Thebrbe are tears but they don’t like really feel like theyrre there but they also do fele like I’m crying because that’s who dreams worm and then I realzie. This is a dream!

And then I wake up. Doble check and yea the tears ware real. I quickly wipe thenm away and stare at the. Weird ceciling of my room in the TARDIS tryijg desperaitly to not think about any of it and think about somehrign else. What’s funny and cma take my minde off of f nightmares? 

Ah yes. Preminger from Barbie as The Princess and The Pauper fancam.

After thinkig about Preminger fancam set to Everybody Loves Me by One Republic but not acutkyally watching it becuase Oh god my phone is probablywstill in the barracks from when I was a soldier oops that was the only vudieo in my tweeter likes…..Anyways yeah after just thinkjngg abiut it I decided to get up and put on da outfit fo today and so I did.The fit fo today? I put on a black thrtleneck because you know that’s a staple piece of fahsion, thne some black jeans and just some casual tenenis showes. I decided agaianst a jacket because it could be warm and I look stylin in just a trutlebneck. I did that “efforltess styleing” that actually has a lot of effort going into it hair thitbg and did a once-over in the mirror. Nobody could tell (except for me ofc) thy I just had a teerivle nightmare for probably the third night in a row! Excellent. 

I tiptoed out of my rom ad into the console room becuase it’s the middle of the damn TARDIS and I just wamtee to go to the food mashine but to get there I have e to go throgu the console room. Mthw Doctor was at the console because I’m pretty sure he never sleeps and Okvier was nowhere to be scene so he was probably aseep.

“Hm) Goodmotnging my boy! Or whwtavebr tome it is.” The Docotor said “I believe we’ll be landingn soon.”

“Meh, every time you say that it takes several morne hours.” I grunble becajse I just thot of the bightmare again. “What time is it? Orn Earth at least.”

“My boy the clock is broke too! It’s stuck at” he hammed and checked it “four twenty pee emm.”

“Nice.” I smilet. “Please dont say food machine broke.” 

“Bitch I need to eat too don’t think I’d beeak that!” 

“Oaky thank god” Went to food majcidn but you don’t kneed to know about my breakfast they’re all cubes like minecraft angways

We landbed soon after and Olvider walked into the console room wearing practically the sAme thing that he was wearifn when he got in the TArids except it was different and more casual. He had on a black suit jacket and the slacks and oxfords from earlier , ad well as a buttoendd up white shirt and balck tie. Unfortunately, he was still bald, but Honestly it didn’t matter anymore he was kinda cute wait. You didn’t read that.

“Hello Oliver.” I said like that Hello Mario video.

“Oh uh hey Steveben” he said tiredly “You look rough old boyi”

“Oh ahaha yeah..,..I didn’t sleep very wlell but Thats just how it besometimes.” I lied through my teeth. That was just how it be all the time.

“That’s sucks, I’m sorey:-( Do you know what time it do?”

“I mean. Maybe? Eathrbt time; but I’m not sure what time zone or Earth Zone.”

“WH. What is a time zone?”

The TARDIS landed and the cosbol room whent quite. “I’ll axplain later.”

Then we walkeidk out of the TATDIS and jnto…...some weirds sort of space shuttle!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sckool just started O_O i'll keep writing this fic, but just know the update schedule may change wahawh

Chlapter 9.  
AN: IM SO SORRY FOR THE MISSED UPDATE AAAAAAAAAAAA

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In hte space shuttle the re were lots of o plants and maybe animslds just chilign around in the room we the TARDIS Landed in. A turtrlte just kinda waltzed on by whiel the Doctor locked the TARDIS ddors. 

“Hm hm! Well now this is some weird fuckery1” he humt. 

“What on earth is this?” Oliver wuqiestoned. He was a 60cs man I didn’t expect him ot take too well to future stuff. 

“We’r in a space ship I think!” I said. “They must supply rhtier own resources or something. I wondcer what they’re doing out here?”

I loked out of a nearby window wile The Dcotr and Oliver continueed to talk and took in where where were/. I’ll give you a hint. Spcace. There was a sotr of assteroid belt a little bit away from whte windo wand it came to mind that this shuttle was probably picking up and gietting rid of debris from said astrotid belt. Below the beslt you could kkinda see a big grey planet, but there wasnt any type of plaebts like that from my time except for Pluto because they made it a plante again. I wasb about to waled away from the widnow when I sa w a beice of debrits from the asetoid belt get dislodged and fly straight for the shuttle!

“Oh shit!” I explained. ‘I Doctor I think we need to get back in the TARDIS! Thers a pece of the breeze coming towards us!”

The Doct or looked up. “Hm! Youre quite right! Yes I think we should skeddadle on out of here! Letrs’ go gays”

Oliver paled but I just wakled by because u know I guess I am a gay huh bi rights! Anyways I woneter why he went pale...Is he home phobic? and I could still see the window and then soemtngin incredible thappened! The peice of depbrise that was coming suddenly got hit with anotjerh piece of bdepirs that was coming….from da ship! I watched it hit and swa the piece of depitsn do back into the assteriod belt!

“Oh!” Oliver said. “Um, good shot I think?”

“W” I said. “Well yeah!! Great shot!! :-D” I somehow made that noise with my mouth. “That shit is usually really hard to do!!”

“Ohmy god you did the thing I do.” 

“WAowa….ANYWAYS, If that thingk isn’t coming at us anymore, I best we can explore the space station, huh Doctor?”

THe DOctor nodded. “HmhmHm Yes! Lets go fuckig crazy lads .” 

But we didn’t because as soon as he siad that a door opened! We stopod there as someone dressed in a crew uniform walked itn. They weren’t human thougjhg! But also not a mushroom person! It was……………………………………..anthjropromorphoic fire!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i rally like dis audio i hope you liek thie chapter ^v^

Chapter 10. 

AN: Welcome back to my twisted mine. 

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Wasn’t very fuckeid up to me, honestly. I couldnt remember the nemae of wht they were, but I had interacted ith a few of these fire people back wheen I was transpotitng cargo aftr flight school, and in the miltiary. It fidnt seem like the Dcotor was bothered either, htere comes back that comment about him possibly not being human! However, Oliver looked like he shat himseltf except he didnt actually because thats fucking gross and Oliver is not gross. 

“Jesus christ what is that!!” He whispered yelled to me. 

“WHat’s good fuckboys?” The fire person said. “Welcome to my space shuttle, what are y’all doing on here? Youre not stoaways are you??? I thot we did a scan but I guess we missed some.”

“Oh nono we are not stowaways hmhmm!” THe doctor hummed. “We just accidentally ladned in here in my very cool very neat time mashine!”

“Oh dope that makes sense. But, whuh...Where is it?” 

“Where is it?” I laughed. “It’s just behind us, right he--” The TARDIS wasn’t there. Um.

“Okay, what the fuck.” I said. I turend abck to the iwndow, and I realized I never got a good glimpse of whatever it was that the shuttle threw out at that oncoming meterioert. Dread started builtingd up as we moved a little bit because whatats what happens whenr youre in orbit, and we saw thae TARDIS was just sitting on a little rock flootinsg kinda far awayu but not quite. 

“OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK” I said again but this time louder because I was shouting. 

“Are we stranded?? What the hell?” Oliver was pancikeding like I was. 

“Oh shit is that your time machine?” The fire person said. “Um. Whoops. Yeah uh big apologies there! We can get back on, probably, I think. It’ll just take us a while.”

“Eh, that’s okay I think. The TARDIS weill be fine, it’s practically indestructable. We hav nothing but time so we migh t as well just vibe herre hmhmhm!” The Doctort said. 

“Slowl down there grandpa, we need to do a background check first.” Fire person said

“That shodulnt be a problem! What year is this?” Oliver asked.

“[ ]”

“Oh. Um. Alright. O_O” Oliver said snerouvously. 

“That’s way past my time, uh..” I also said snerioublysy. 

“Very fun!! We’re all likely dead by now. Well. You and Oliver probably are.” The Doctor said cheerfully. Me nd Oliver looked at each other, not cheerfully. 

The fire speronson, who told us he was named Odgar, lea dus to another room that had w hoele bunch of computers and a fax machine for some goda damn reason. Those things went out of styl ine the tech sector millenia ago why the hell did he have a fax machinge?? ANwyays Odgar did some little research with the asmr keyboard sounds and slowly, three pieces of paper came out of the fax machin. It was us, but……………….it was mugshots! Id’ never been to prison, seeing as police and jail systems were abolished my my time,and I dont knthink the doctor had been either, but...Oliver...He was very egar to scape is own time……..Just what did he do?

Oliver snatched his paper out of the fax machine. “What?! I thought I got out of that!!” Supspicious. 

Odgar yoinked it from him and looked at it, then looked at me and the doctors’ before we could even see. “Hm.’ He said “Imprisoned ong Grace Alone…...Inch resting.” 

“What the fuck. What the fuck.” I said, “Docctor, I haven;t done enything illegal right?”

“Hm..I’m not sure. Do you reemmeber anything fmor Troy or our trips with Sara?”

Sara. Ouchi. “Unless you want me to start crying right here right now, then no.” 

“Ah yeah No I can’t handle people crying hmhmhmhm!” 

Oliver tilterd his head. “Who’s Sara?”

I took a very deep breath because ouougoguhguhy. I misse her. “I’ll..I’ll tell you later. She was....a friend.” 

Odgar cleared his weirdly non-existatn throuat. “So yougys are like criminals apparently so Im goig to have to keep yuoi here with me we cant trelaly do anything rihgt now because hellpo space shuttle but yeah we have to return you.”

“What, to Earth? I domt think I can face any other humans right now.” Oliver sawas snervoius again. 

“WBEHuarjdfkhsj Earth? That old husk of an empire? And you guys are Humans?? Those weird little dudes that are a shell of their former selves?”

Husk of an empire? Hello? When I was a soldier we ewre still expanding, thats why we had all the colonie planets and an army and stuff. Oliver looked just as ocnfused but thats because I dont think theyd even goten to the moon inthe 60s when we picked him up. Something was marking me a littel freaked out doe, probably the comoment about humans.

“Um, Odgaer,” I stared. “What planet are we right by?”

If he had a head I think he would tilt it. “You don’t know? Are you really humans?”

The Doctor did that funny little gigle he did. “My dear boys look outdide! Hmhmhmh! Don’t you teo recognize the Earth?”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exposiditijn baby

Chapter 11.

AN: This is the story of how Basil got their motivation back…..It’s all for that one scene near the end. You know the one. :-)

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Me ad Oliver just kinda stood there like. Hm. Earth? Fucked up if true.

“Hoooly shit?” Oliver mumbled. “What happlen?” 

“Dude, what fucking didnt?” Odgar said. He statrted listengin off things on his fire finges “Climate changem, racism, billionaires, nuclurear war, regular war, imperialims...Do you want me to keep going”

“Yeesh you know what we probably deserved it.” Oliver said.

“But...but in my time all of those were gone??” I sweated

“Odgar sadi “What year are you from?” 

“Uuuhu like the 24th or 25th century. Somewhere in there.”

Oliver raised an eyebrow “You don’t know what year your from?”

The Doctor hummed. “He’s been through some shit my boy!” 

“Anyways yeah why what happened after then???” I   
refuse to acknoewlefde my tramua. 

“Well the war with Krayt goit out of hand and the humans eventually won--”

“--Oh nice”

“Yeah but it all went down whill after thaty. Its like in the 20th centeurty when Amercia was back to back world war champs.” 

“oh my od. oh my gukc. wait thats awful”

“Yeah iknow thats why the whole planet and empire fuckinge died.”

I took a monet to think about shit. 

Woah.Maybe……..maybe war bad. Why the hell did I even join the military in the first place? I knwo i just had a thought about refusing to acknowledge my trauma but I just might have to right now. I After the whole thing with the Roket Men wihcih...hooh,..I goined the army becuae why not, and after all, I Am Not Immune To Propoganda. But hm……..the combonashin of watching my friends and comrades die while I candt do anything about it PLUS the imperialism,.......mauby that wasn’t very smart. 

ANYWAYS. “The whole planet? So are humans just...exintcet? Or SOmething?” I asked. 

“Nah, they kinda did the opposide of evolve. Devolved? Yah. ANyways, humans are a bot fucekd up now but they come up here to give us cool techonoggy scraps tat we can sell for chase mo ey.” 

“Oh. Thats kunda cool. But only kidn a.”

just Then, ther ewas an alarm of osme sort comgn from further down the hall in the shuttle! Odgar calmly explaivnged that it was the arrivale of the human scrap finder people, and thgayt it was weird that whe was just talking abotu them and they showe dup. But anyways! We followed him because thecnitlally he couldnt leae us lone because we were teachnilly captives or prisoners of som e kind, which , I didn’t even know why we were prisoners! I mean sure we were supposedly fugeiteves from the colonony plaent Grace Alone, but we never figure dout what crimes were were suposibly cmottied! At least, I never did. The Docto r was vaguely smug as he walways was, and Oliver….Idk wha t was up with him ealier, but he did make a big odl deal about whatever was on his record. The quastion wouldnt leave my mind: What one earth did he do? And why was he so keen on leaving eEarth?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wat is goign to happen next.........i wonder....

Chapter 12. 

AN: Ok lads here we go

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We walkied into a room where da human scrap finder vessel was conmkng in and we saw people getting off of da ship carrying all sorts of futurey metal things. I wad cursious about what was in there ship so I jusnt jkoinda walkeid in and staretd helped them unload the things. Whiel I was in ther I saw some just kinda metal junk and was like okay whatever, there wasn’t really anything important so I was trungin around to go btu then! 

“Hey bro whatch where youre going” Said this lady that I almost ran into. “Wait a aminute arre you a human?”

“Uh ya” I said. Then she held a gun up to me. Not the first time I’ve been help up at aoginpioint but its still surposign. 

“Whyyy did you spread that disease man” She loked angrey. 

“I;m sorry what? Disease? Thats la thinkg again?” I was baffled

“You kno w exactly what I’m taking about. The only ereadsign I’m doing this job is so I an get meddycine for the kids back donw on Earth. Why was your bitchass spreakding sick shit??”

“Listen,” I started “I really don’t knowo what you;’re talking about.” At this point, we were aooone in the room, most of the cargo beign taken out of ti already. No easy way out except for wa fight, huh? 

But I really , rally didn’tly want to fight this lady. She was tired, the ba ggs under whtyer eyes deep adn porple, and super skiny. She had a sad look in her eys like she didnt want ot fight be reither, but lieuk she had no cohoise. 

“I could kill you.” She said.

“Okay? So could another person.so could a dog. So could a really deditacated duck. You arent special.” Plus Id ont think I wiudl minde at this point. 

Just then, we heard “I say my boy WHAT is taking hyou so long in there hmhm?” and a few clicketty clackietty footsteps. In walkied The Doctorm, with Oliver trailing beind him and Odgar following them , watching their every moves. The lady holdide the gun at me turned the gun to them. The Doctor aidndt react.

“Um. Hello. There;s no need to shoot us. O_O” Olvier siad deadpanendlty.

“She keeps saying something about a disease and my whithoutlding medicine or soemthing like that halp/” I said. 

“Ohohoho you need meddycine? Meddycal attenshin?” hTe Doctor himed. “Well, I’m a doctor! of sourts. 

“Oh lol we got that on baiord you want some queen?” Odgar said. 

“Hand it over flame princess” The human lady said. 

“OKay first of all rude, secodn of all sure why not. Come on lest go go go” 

We walkied on , and I fell back to ware the Doctor and Oliver were. Th e dcarrot ketp just humming to himseflk and tapping his cane along. 

Oliver looke d at mye in a fond way that kinda made me wnat to cry actually. “Are you alright, old boy?”

“Oh, yeah, uh.” I repalisedd. “Nothing bad happened thenre, and yknoe,w I’ve been through worse.” 

“That’s...not too good. But reassuring.” 

I supposed now was the imte to tell him about some ofn what lead to me haingng out wiht The Doctor. “You know, I survived a spacedhsip crash.”

He lookied shokeced. “Really??”

“Yehah, It’s how I ended up ehtt the docotr. I got shot down over a colony planet and was stuck there for two whole years. Some metal orb dudes held me in prison for some reaosn. I mean, like, it;s not like I could leave or anything. The only reason I got out was The Dcotor showing up and getting my ass out of there. I still have nightmares about being stuck in there, and being shot down. I handle it like a champ though. I think,”

Oliver throught for a monument. “Steven,” He said. “Have you considered therapy?”

I turne dto him. “Do you know how hard it is to find a therapist when you don’t exist at one point in space and time for more than six months maximum?

“Agh. Right. I forgot about that whoops ^w^’ “

Wait a miunue. Since we where talking about our pasts no ww I fgireured out it weas the best time to pry open the wusetion of what the hell he did that he wsnt ed to get off of earth s obadly for. 

“Hey, by the way, I was wondering something.” I satared, tryngi to not sound intimidating. 

“Yeha/?”

“Wh-”

Just then, smting crashied into the side of the shuttle! I yellepd, ansd so did Oliver. The Doctor did a little bit of a tumble back into us, and Odgar adnt eh human lady exchanged a very, very worried glance. They bothe knew what could be going on, and we didnt have a clue. They started running towards a controle room, and we had no cochise to follow them. BUT first we had to get the Doctor back on his feet. 

“Doctor!” I said, hauling him upright.

Oliver asked “That was a gnatrytly fall! Are you alright?”

I continued “No frail old man bones broken?”

“WH. I am not an old man, whore. Yes I’m okay! Hmhmhmhm!” He hummed. “I’m afraid something has happened to the ship though. Wehe rr should follow Odagar and that uyoung woman.” And so we did! 

But before any of us could get to the control room (Odgar and the gun lady encluded) something else rammed into the sihp! This one was so much worse! I heard the tearing of metal before I could see it and my heart sunk to tha floor because that was not good, so I grabbed onto a railing nearby as the FUCKIGN SPACEFSHUTTLE GOT TORN INTO SEVERAL PIECES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> speedrunning posting this b4 zoom class x3

CHAPTER 13!

AN: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HERE WE GOOOO

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BIG FUCKIN YIKES HUH! I was scared shitless and whoho oh boy I wouldn

‘t be lieing if I said that this wasnt reminding me a little bit of when my ship went down over Mechanus. So that’s fun! Fuck I left Hi-Fi on the TARDIS huh. I made a mental note that if we survived this, I would definetly 100% take him with me wheres evrrr I got off the TARDIS like ian adn barbara. Departuere I tink thanks called? Yeah.   
Anyways, in ta moment, someone was right by me and slippongi away quickly to teh open lcoid void of space, so I grabbed them by the arm and pulled them to me. Turns out it was Oliver so thats was pretty swaggy that he wasn’t died. Lokoonig around though ,I noticed one majorly worrying thing ……………………………………………...…...The Doctor. Was. Gone. 

Luckly for futuristinc space shuttles, repairs were instant and a wall was formed, curtting us off from the rest of everyone abut also the void of space so that was cool! Me ad Oliver stood there for a moment cathing our berath before I realized that hey…….we were kinda clinging even tho we were safe so I just kinda let go a littol and he did too. 

“WHAT,” Oliver said. “Was that?!?!”

“I havbe lelgit no clue um! I think w e may be cut off from the a Doctor and also everyone. Is there a window in this part of the shiope we;re sealed in?”

Looking around, we spotted several. Lookonig out of them, we gravefully noticed that the part of the ship we were in was completely cut off frmo the rest of the shuttle and we were just kinda freely floating awaye a little. 

“Well.” I said. “This actually sucks. Like, a lto.”

“Yeah, uh.” Olvier “Are we going to die here or something? This is not what I had in mind when I set out with you guys.” 

I sighed. “No, we’re not.” At least, I hoped we weren’t. “Shit like this juts AWLWAYS has to hapebnm whenever we land anywhere! It’s like we’re in a scifi seceres that just doesnt stop uppeing the ante.”

“Oh christ seriously?”

“Mhm. It is. the fuckig worst.”

“Hey, wait!” Olivr was pointing out the window. “Isn’t that the TARDIS?”

“Wait, seriously?” I looked out of the window he ws and sure enough ,there was the TARDIS! It was nasteled nicely on a small somehwo stationary rock a good distance away.Tehre were a few more rocks like it, actually...

A cracklgine came over an intercom. We ware still connected?

“Hm hm! Bitches, you alright?” It was the Doctor!

“Doctor!! :-D” I said, ignoring how I did that emoji out loud again. “Holy shit how are you alive??”

“Doctor!” Olvier also said. “Where are you? What happened?”

“Hmhmhmhm!” He hammed crackily over the crackiyl intercom. “We got to that transport ship the earth humans came in on and got the fuck out! We uh, cant really go anyehewer tho, so we’re chillin on a rock.”

“Oh, wait! I think I can see you guys!” Oliver started waving out of one of the windows. “Can you see me waving, Doctor?”

“Yes, yes I can! But, ah, over the cameras in here. I’m afraid I can’t see you actually, actually out the windows here. We don’ t have too many.”

“poggers” I grumbled. Oliver frowned as I asked, “So wat happened?”

“Wale,” Odgar took over the mic! “REmember that assteroid belt? Yeah a few moef sr came loose and just rocked our shit.”

“Can it be fixed?” Olvoier asked.

“At some point yeah, we’re gonan have to phone for relapsirs from this littol shuttle, which should be pretty fast actually!”

“Oh! That’s good, then!” 

“So we just sit here for a few hours and everythings; good?” I asked. 

The Doctro came back on the mic. “Well, ehm, for us, my boy, but not for you two, I’m afraid.” THEr es was a f f slight quckjver in this voice that I had never heard before ad my hart sank again. “You see, thae alittel part of the ship you;re in. It well, it ehm, it doesn’t have much for oxygen in it. You’ll probbanly last two hours, and thats itf you ncan consereve it!” 

Me ad Oliver were dead quite. It looks like we WERE going to die.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SURPISE! WEEKENED UPDATE!! >:-D

Chapter 14. 

AN: >:) we’re almost there. 

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“Oh, god.” I breathed, finalyl. 

“I’m sory my boys, but I dont’ think thers anything that I can do for w=yo now. Unless hyo u can somehow get to the TARDIS, then youwer fuckt.” 

I svacanened aroudn the room for somehting, antythign, that ovucld help us get out , ad then I saw a panel hatch of some rsort in the floro.Ther ewas a small tank of oxeegen in da room too. Is satarmted thinking. 

“What ar we goign to do??” Oliver whispered lieikd that howuld hel.p consferve oxuygen. 

“Hang on i thinking.” So do you remember when I described myself as a himbo>? Yeah well that s not necessarily true. I mayb not be the smartest at times but I still have a fairly good ghead on my shoulders (brains and looks wise) , and I thin k I may need to remidne you that I am a certified pilote and graduated flights school, .I know a think or two about geometry and maffs luv.

There sare six things that you need to know to be able to predict the trajectory of an item in speace, but I wil lknowt tell you them because you likely ownt need to get yourself and your friend wout of a situation like this ever. And you probably failed geometry anayways. After thignk knng about it very hard I turned to oliver.

“I think I havea n idea so we can get out of here alive.” I said . 

“Oh thajn k god you went into a state for like 5 minutes I was about to like smack you or somethign.” He sgihed. “So what is it?”

“I’m goign to break open that panel and stick my hands outinto space to propel use witht hat small can ov oxyegne over ther over to the TARDIS.”

He blinked. I blinked. We blinked. 

“Thath might work.” He finally said. “I don;t know enough about space and physics to argue against it.”

“Swaggy” I gave a thumbs up and scooted over to the panel. I started to lift it, but then Olveir tsopped me for a second.

“Are you sure tehres no other way? Like. ,what if we jst tried pushing this tihnkg over there from the inside? I be tif we jump emngough it could happen.”

“Oliver, it doesn’t work like that.”

“Okay but it could. Like what if it did.”

“The force of us moving hasnt moved this thinng so far right? It wouldnt then. Space a vacuum.” 

He sighed. “ARgh alright okay. I’ll get the oxygen tank thinkg.” Adn he did while i mentally prepared to open the hatch. Dep breathsre. WAit no , we’ll run out of oxeegen that way. Shallow breathes. 

Oliver came back with the oxygen. “That thing’s goitat be full of wires and stuff, right?”

“The whole wall of the ship? Yea probably.” I said neirvously but not nersioubvly about what he was implying, nervousyl about sticking my hands out into literal space. 

“Here,” He said, and he quickykl took his suit jacket off, hading it to me with the oxygen. “For protecciton.”

“Oh, thanksm an. You’re goijgns to keep the hatch open iftahts larihgt.”

“I can do that ti think! Lets go gamer.” 

“Gamer?”

“YAEh I picked it up from the Doctor. What does it mean?” 

I thought. Oliver didn’t deserve this. “I’ll explain et later.”

“Right, just like Sara.” 

“Okay okay I will ignore that for nwo letyts um lets go!!” 

And so we did. We opened the hatch and I jammed my hands outside which aws afucked up and felt weird and I think I cut one of them on the insides of the ship. They immediately dried up eevnemw with the clotih of the jacket usproting but I could still work with this! I opened da oxygen tank think g and let it rip just like beyblade in the direction that would push is towards the TARDIS. And ywuldnt you know! It fuckign worked!

I heard the DOcotr come back on the intercom. “Holy shit my boy! That’s baller!”

I use dhte oygen tank sporodically to just give littol pusheds and eventually we were almost therre, and thne…..

I went too ham on the last oen and we just only kinda bonked the TARDIS and flew right by.

“Fuck! >:-0” Oliver yellet.

“Arhg! Well it waz a good try m y boy, Im so sorry. Weer’ trygint our fastest to teh get the repair ship up here but--”

In a briatiralt moment I cut him off. It was all going to plan, wasn’t it?

“--Doctor. I didn’t miss.” 

Another assteroid came back around and bonked us back into the TARDIS this time harder..,d,.,..adn we dislodged it! It got sent carreeirng over to whwere the Docto rand everyone ele were. But hten for the third itme in this god awful day my heart snake as I realzied taht. shit man we couldnt move again. There was very ltitel oxygen letf in the tank thinking and we wee stuck on da rock. 

The Doctor cheered as bes ta s his old ass could. “Steven my boy! I’m very produ of you hmhmhm! Good work out there woaheiwheo!”

“Th..Thank yo Doctor.” Goddamn he was proud of mme? That was like my one goal holy shit I actually wouldnt mind this being the end now. 

“Doctor?” Oliver yelled asked him. “Do you see the TARDIS heading over?”

“Wait! Hm!!!H!M!Hm! Yes yes I do! Spledingd job my boys! Hmhmhmhm!” The intercom was stargint go crackle a little harder, lieke he was getting further away or the power was running out or osmthing. 

“You;re cutting out a little!” Oliver was panicked. I aws only a lietl panicked ebcaseu the adrenaline was starting to wear off and OGUGHUGHBJK MY FUCKING HANDS HOLY SHIT

“Oh sh]][ I m c [p[] Im what?” The Doctor cutted outly said. He was evfnem moire staticky and far away sounding. 

“Doctor?” I hoped he could hear me . “Thank you. For everything.” 

And then it was just us.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *collpases liek a family guy character*

Chapter 15. 

AN: I froth. I am frothing at the mouth. The dialouge in this chapter is taken almost directly from the audio. 

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Afters taknign my hands out of teh hatch as fast as I could i ba rely looked at them and just kinda held them wrappe d up in my lap. Me ad Olvir e were sittig now, nex t to eac hover by the wall opposide the hatch. 

Thea ocxeygen wa srunning out quick.y If we were goign to die here aI still needed to figroue out one thing. 

II cleart my throat. “Perhaps you shod etll me youre secret now.”

He lsooked at me questioningly and nsreouvlsy. “.....My what?”

No t getting out of this this time. “You knwo perfectly well what I mean. Why uyiuoy ware so keen to exscape from yoru own timel, the crime o you commited.” I pased. “Look ,w hatever y ou did. It doesn;t ‘matter’ now and y ou wont get another chance. What. did you. do.” 

He wasd quiet for a minute. “Alright … I…,Alright I’ll tell you.” Quiet again, adnt thenem, “I fell in love with the wrong person.”

Seriously? That;s all it was? “Thats. .. Oliver thats not a crime you know that right.”

He looekd away from me, spain but the s is silent expression on his face. “It is when it’s a man.” 

SERIOUSLZY? THAT:S ALL IT WAS? I knw othe man was in pain and this was probably tramautigc stuff for himt o tlak about, but I found myself smiling. He turned back around and said “Please ! Don’t look at me like that!”

“That’s it?” I ASksed. “That’s all it is?” 

He aws bewildered. I bet he thogt I was going to do somethign violent or something what the hell!! “It’s not ill egal in the future?”

“Why would it be? aRhg, but buy your time you’d only jsut let women vote and were suuuper racist.” 

“Eguh, yeah. Mayeb we are the worst.”

“We get better! ..In my time, its doenst matter. No one thinks twice about it. ..I’m actually--”

Ig he didnt hear me about to come out too but whateva. “--I suppouse you have flying cars?”

“Mhm. And motorbikes.”

“And universal peace?” I shooke my head. “Wha?t?”

“I grew up in a war. And went to war.”

“Ah, well, so nothing changes.”

“The law changes.” I pasused. “You knwo, we coudlks drop you off afte r that. You ocudl pick up your life again.” I dindtny want to suggest that if we lived ,he leave before he fuckig dies but man. That would suck huh.

He sighsed. “It can never be that seasy. My mum, my friends, all the tpeople I workied with…”

I shifted a littel bit clsoer to try and comfrt him. “A lot of the peeple you worked with arent on wEart hanymore.” 

“No, you’re right. ….Yo uk now, this is why I could see…. Mr.Flowers,,,..as he really was, I think. A friend rung to say the piolice were on way, and I new the number waz up. Theu h, , ..traders? Yeah traders, that I workedi with, all the people who I kenw and blensdend in with. I wasnt aparst of tha anymore.”

Quick shit he its realyl fcuking sad. Um. “You saw through them, tho!” 

“...I knew I dind’t belong.” 

Okay that didnt work. Option two. Address my trauma. “I’ve nevr really wantd to go home ither, but...you know...we’re also on Borrowed Time with the Doctioer.” Oh boy I could fesale the tears benign to ppol. “So many of hour--of my--friends have died, amdn eberyt time you step out of the TARDIS, the odsd against you surviving go up a just a little more.” Great work Steven. Now for strep three: dont cry! 

Oliver was quiet and turned his ehad a way from me again. “The numbers are agaiginst us.” 

It wus probably the oyxgen deprivatiostn getting to me, but I laughed a little bit. No thoguhst, head empty, only moment: i laid my ehead on his shouldr. “They don’t mean it. They...they don’t mean anything. But htey are.”

“It’s alright..Really! It’s...It’s alright.” I oculdnt really tell if hew as lookgi at me or not, but I swaeor to god my hart almost stopepd whtn i feelt and saw him kinda cover my hands with one ofhi s. Holyshit . “I wouldn’t habve missed this.” 

“..Me either.” Remember when I said I mised human contact? Yeah. A bitch is touchstarvedx so <3 Im living it up rn

“steady on man, afraid youer not my type ahahaah”

I nodded and went yeah because yaknoww okay I can live with that i respect it, but neither of us movred. Even tho the oxygen was dangenously low I kidane laffed a litel and he did too and we were just still sisting there and you know what? If this is where Im gonand die, I dont realyl mind it. 

“Man, poor doctor.” I mumbled. “He loses all of us/.”

And then i blacked out


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I ALOMSOT FORGOT TO UPLOATD ANYWAYS THERES PROBABLY NOT GOING TO BE AN UPDATE FRIDAY BECAUSE OF SCHOOL SO WATCH OUT FOR A POSSIBLE WEEKEND UPDATE!!

Chapter 16.

AN: WAAHAWH I think we’re almost done with The Cold Equations!! Can’t wait for *checks big finish website* ….Oh no..

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I wakied up back on tah shuttle and thae first thing i noticed was OOUGGOUAUGIHNUAGHA MY FUCKIGN HAAAAANDS OUUOCUHIE but it hurt less than when I punhed them through the whole walla of the little spacehistp. zThey wer bangdaged finely and hurt to move. 

Anyways the secodm thing I noticed was I waz back in the main shuttle!!! And the TARDIS was there!!! So I guess ei was alive. Loogikng around more, I noticed tht I was very much alone. Hm,.Inchresting. Wait a mitneu….where was everyone? Theay wer probably lette ing me rest but also where they hell are they. . Wad oLvier oka?y I hoespfd he was. But I was alone, for the time being. Time to have some thots I think. I lookeid up at the selling. 

SO. We should have died, right? Liek, we totally should have, and I figured I almsot wanted to. I think ist because you know, Ive lsost so many people that I woudlnt mine it. THinkgin about it, I was a ltitotl mad at Olvier for coming onto the TARDIS at first, and that wad why! I leiked him...oh boy thats an epiphany...anways, I leikd him and I didnt wananta to lose him like fuckig eevryeone else! Let me be abreal for a second I’m getting very very tired of making rfrineds and then the,m dying maybe like a day or two later. Like what the fuck? What the fuck??? Why does this keep happening? I was joking earlier when I todl Oliver that my time with the Doctor has been like a sci-fi show that keeps upping the ante, BUT ACTUALLY? I might;ve been onto something. I’m so so SO tired of it can I end this fucking pattern like ? I don’t need character development no matter what I think the universe sasy. 

Wait a minteu. I sat up quicki, still thinking. I cant stop the seemignly endless cycle of meeting people and then dthem dying if I die, right? 

I wwanmt to live! Okay, so , the universe and space mightbe gotten the jump on me so many fuckign times already by now, but I can stop that right? Right?? 

Just htem, the door into da room opened, and. .. ..Oliver and tThe Doctor walked in! 

“Oh hai guyz” I said brushgin my epiphany aside because for some reason, if The Docto rknew about my sudden breakthrough I feel likethat would ruin it. For some reason. 

“Helo my boy! Jesus christ your hands ARE fucked up!” The Doctor hummed, making that one face wher it looked like he would start vibrating at high frequencyies soon. 

“AHaha,a yeah um, Im;re feeling better tho! So that s good!”

“Yeahyeah! That;s good!” Oliver chimed in “Im glad youre doing alright ,old boy :-)” 

“And youre okay too,? Ik you weente like hurt or anything but that sure was an experience huh”

“As okay as I can be ! O_O Seriously that was fucked up”

I nodded because dear god it was. It;s probably going to get added onto my nightmares honeestly. Then a thot ocurred to me, and I gesture d for him to come closer. He loekide confused, but he did. 

I leaned up and whisped, “Have you told the Doctor yet?”

“Told the Doctor?...Oh! Uh, no, shoudl I?...”

“He’s harmless and , remember, proabbyl not human. I think hed be fine.” 

“zThats true” 

Just thenf rom behind us we heard him hum

" " 

We sat there for like. a really long time. What the FUCK? 

“Hey, Doctor?” I said. “What the FUCK? HOW did you say that outloud?” 

“How did you??? How did you say that AND know?????” Oliver was pale. 

“Hmhmhmhmmhmhmhm! Thats my secreat! Anways, Its all good Oliver. Doctor dont caare.”

“Um. Cool! Great!” 

We exchanged a terrified look because hello what the fuck? 

“So ho wlong do you think it;ll take for..?” I moved my bandaged hands around to demonstrate. 

“Oh, probably one more day! Hmhmhm! Sicne we get the TARDIS back in the shuttle, we cna leave at any time really,” The Doctor confined. 

“Thakn you Doctor very cool” 

“Where were you thinking of landing us next, Doctor?” Olvier asked. 

“hmhmhm, Well! Im very curious about theat Grace Alone place. Very curious indeed.”

“Yeah, but we can’t possibly land there, right? You can’t control where the TARDIS goes, or when!” I objected. “Did we even see wehat we were fugitives for?”

“Ohohooh I did!” The Doctor said. “You, Mister Taylor, are wanted for deserting!”

“DESERTING?!” I yelled. “I FUCKING CRASHED! Nobody came after me!!!” 

The Doctor gigeld. “Tell that to the Earth;s government!”

“I would very muc jh like to!” 

“And you, Doctor? What were you arrested for?” Oliver psuehd. 

“How does running away from a whole planet sound hm? Thats all Im telling you bitch.”

Once again we just kinda sat tehre like O_O. I was right about him not being entirely human! Very cool! 

“So ,shall we go check out whats up on Grace ALone?” The Doctor folded his hands.

I “Sure, if you can find it.”


	17. PART 3: Oh My God What the fuck Take My Hand Crush it Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no summary today i too buisy reading the age of innocente for ap litttt

CHAPTER 17. PART 3: Oh My God What the fuck Take My Hand Crush it Up

AN: Once again, I cannot thank you enough for taking the time out of your day to read my funny little fic! We’re on the last leg of our journey now: The First Wave! I do have to warn you now that there are some parts I genuinley do not want to fuck up, so there’s going to be a little more of that serious prose that tapped in at the end of Part 1. Enjoy! :-D

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Hello once agaiant theorists today I foudn myself wakifn up from a nightmare again. Take aguess wether it was the same thing or not! I couldnt tlel you becoz I immediately for got after I spemt a few minutes claming down. No ididnot think about Preminger fancam this time. Just beep brestdgs. I statered at the seeling for a good long whyle because it felt like if we were on earf it woudk be at least only three wint the morning. Probbably. I wanntrd to slepe again but let’s be real if I did itd just have nighty mares again which is like a super big bromblrm but I also don’t wanna talk about it BUT ALSO I think I need to talk baiit it cause wat will happen if I do nothing? Maybe Oliver was right I shoudl see a therapist. 

Oh yeah Oliver exists. Youlmow it’s funny I thot that after Sara I soudlnt be …...cathing any feelinks…..any time soon but uh oh fuck fucky wuchjy. Ido notncontrol the emoshun I guess. Anyways I’m sure it’s nothing and that ImA overthinking shit and this will 100% not comenback to bite me in the ass later. Yes!

After comkitm to this conclusion I wenmt back sleep and had you guessd it another nitemare XD oh god where did that come from. ANYWAYS, i got up after weaking up and lookied at myself in thenmiriror. I look tired but you kno what im still stylin on theee hoes! It was probanbly like three hours later after i originally work up so I did quickly get dresiesd. Today i ware a black shirt instead of a turltreneck because why not its still emo colorz, and the same dark pants as last time. 

I walkied out into the console room of the TARDIS and just kidna chillded. The Doctor was , as per usual, sin the consol rool just vibing looking athte numbers and stuff watching the thing in them iddle go up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and. Yeah. 

It ahd ben about a weak since the inceeeident where we got shooted out into spacee and I fuckeid up my hands. Was I doingmk better? Yeah i think so. Did we hav eand edventure during the week after? Yes we did and I will not tel you about it but I will tell you thata we wento the victorian era and. Hoo Boy. So anyways I was pretty much vibing aside from the nightmares cause yeah baby!!!!!!!! Woohooho ie 

The DOctor lokoed iat me. “You look rough my good bitch!” He humemd. 

“Wold u belelif me if I said thats just how I look.” 

“No <3” 

“OKay yeah that’s fair. Anywas, are we still in the time vortex?”

“Yesyes! Im pretty sure ywe’ll be landing oson thought, hto so you might want to go found our other compainson.”

“Ok”i sid so I went out of the room but just as I was goignkl to Oliver showed up and wer almost ran into each other. 

“Haiiii” I saidnsd 

“Good mornign” Oliver greted bnakc. 

We standned there and then thae TARRDIS landed . We alwkainged into where The DCOtro was standing and. 

“HmhhmMhmhmhMMM!” The Dcotr himuhed. “Well, that;s’ inch resting@! Very incehu restubong?}”

“What is up Dcotor? :-0” Oliver aksei.d

“It appears we’ve landed on Grace ALone! You remember, right?” 

“The planet we ewere supposedly exacping from?: I asked. “”Yeha”

“THes has to be a reason!” Oliver thinking. 

“MAybhapes we were ausppoed to get arresteid!” The Docot r himec in “Lets’ god check it out , hm? “

I looked at him like he was crazy but you cant really say no to the Doctr o when he wants to go axplore somewhere.er 

“Alroght, sure, what oudc go wrong?” Olive r said.

Um. Everything, it turns out.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how yall doin this freaky friday

Chapter 18. 

AN: So sorry for the missed update last time! One of my classes has been kicking my ass, but I think I’ve finally got it under control.

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I stepeoided out of the TARDSI and onto Grace ALigne. It wa sgray and pretty dusty, kinda like the moon if you think about. it. I did think about it! I rememebdr that, hwen I was still bak in my time, Earf was explanding its reach and getting some coloneis on other plantset., that ws what Mecaanus was, or at least almost was. ANyways Grace Alone was kinda one ofthose except it was like a science colony ny or something. Ther ewas a gectangular building a hot while in ronfrt onf where wa landed. 

“Steven can you palese move? Youre blocking the exit.” I heard Olvier say bfrom behind me. 

“Oh shit yeah my bad!” I said and movied aout of the way. 

I realised that mhm. Theres almost no atmospher out here so maybe just walking around might be a bad idea. While Oliver was looking star-struck by being out out on ona moon like planet I turned back in to the Dcotor who was just coming out and said,

“Are you sure we should be geting out here? The airs pretty thin I think we should get the spare oxygen canisters or something.” 

“Aarhch! You’re just being paranoid, my boy!” He gigled. 

Seriously? Again? “I’m not being paradinoid! I’m just thinking about the last time we went into space with out any backup oxygne.”

“That was a freak accident my boy! We’re not going to get crashed into by an meteor here, hm??????? It’s perfectky fine! Now, I want ot go see what sin theat building over there!”

He was changing the subject, alright. “I think that might be a lab of sorts, Doctor.”

“A lab?’ Oliver piped in. “What would you need a lab for all the way out here?” 

The Doctor had leadaready started wobnlingy towards the building, so we followed him.

“Wel,” I sai.d “They could be researching what life is like pon here, or they could be developgming something, or something eles. I’m not too sure, actually, I never was all that interesetdcd in science.” 

“Shits hard innit?” Oliver agreed. 

“Oh my god yeah, like, I can do math on the fly perfectly well but hooooly shit.” 

“Poohohohooh! THere;s ana airlock!” We heard the Doctor say even though he was like halfway across the map. 

“We should probably go stop him before he breaks something or a bone>” I grimaced. 

“Yeah, sure” Oliver was sounded a little distracted, so I loekid at him. He ad looking up at tha starts. 

“You alright there?”I askeid. 

“Oh, yeah ! Its just , wel, arent the stars kinda prety? I think this would be a good post for stargasing. You dont get views like this in London.” 

“Maybe,” Is said, ignoring the butterflyies in my stmoathc. “If it wasn’t for the fact you’d suffocate after around 10 minutes because of the thiiin atjmostpher and the dust everywhere. You would’bt be able to clean if up for like two weeks.” 

He shot me a t olook. “Well aren;t’ you romantic.”c 

h

“Ar eyou bitches coming over here or not???!?!?” Hmmmmmh??” The Doctor yelled. 

“yeahyaehayehu sure doctor” I sai d and hurriedly over to him. We waited for the r airlock to open adn want in. Inside we ware kinda right it was a little bit of a laborbraryty! The first room we entere d was inch resting, it had a big screen adn keyboard and a biunch of of machines to take sample;es from stuff and some sort of full body scanner. Kinda like that one old game AMong Us yaknow. The next rooms we walkred into weres similar, but except in around the last one t here was this weird small like burning or charred stuff. 

“What on earth is that? >:-/” Oliver covered his nose because it was not a good smell. 

“Augh man I do not know.” I sadi disgustedly. 

The Doctor scooted around the room and then stoped, looking in a corner. “My boys?” He said. “I think I’ve found the source, hm. Yes, indeed.” He sounded newvious, and the Doctror never ounded nervious. I stepepd outver to him to discover……………………………..

……………………………..A pile of charred bodies.. They ware all dressed in ismilar uniforms, probably were the people that worksed at this station, wihc is probably didnt see anyone on our way over here. There wad about five of them and . eugh. 

“Okay! Alright! I’ve seen enough lets get the fuck out of here!” I said, backing up quickly. 

“Why, whats over there?” Oliver hadnvt seen them yet I guess. “Oh. Oh, god/” Nvm he did. 

“Oh god is right, my boy!” THe Doctor said. “You know, whatever our fate might be here, its might be something similar to what happened to these pour souls.” 

“I don’t want that to be my fate, what the fuck!?” I angerd. 

“Um yeah me neither? Doctor, we should probably go. . “ Oliver chimverd in. 

The Doctor was quiet for mma moment. He opened his mouth to speak, his hands were on his lapenls so he was either about to spew some bullshit or some facts, but before he cold speak, we all heard the ominous cracklhoing of electricity. 

“You two,” The Doctor’s tone changed. “When I say run, you nee d to run.’ 

“Doctor?” WAs all i could ask. I noteidc static was hangin in the air. 

“Run motheruefkebuengers!!!” He weld. 

And so I grabebd Oliver’s hand and ran , and behind us I herard a loud CRACK o f elexctricity or lightning.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ao3 didnt lag my computer out before zoom can i get a yeah

Chapter 19. 

AN: Oooohoohohohohooooooooo what hapapepnd? 

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I didnt sotp running unti lwe got to the airlock . 

“What the FUCK was that?” I breathed havily getitng my rbeath back. I lete d go of his hand. 

“Oh my god you didnt see it….” Oliver said sadly. 

“Olvei,r what happened?” I stared at him. He loekd away. 

“Some weird electric being just came down and zapped the Doctor. I…..I don’t knwao really if we just left him for dead or not. Oh, god, what the fuck was that?” He looked like he was goign oto break down. 

“The Doctor….dead?” My breath stoped. “Then...then what the helwl do we do? How do we go on?”

“I don’t know! I don’t knwo!!” 

We stoodo there, silent. The Doctor couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t! I’d seen that man go through so much for an old man, he couldn’t just get electrocuted and then--well, actually, he probably could. That doesn’t help at ALL though. God, what the fuck were we supposed to do now? Was this part of my life just over now? Wer we stranded? Despite everything I’ve said, I don’t--or didin’t--actually hate the guy, so if he was dead dead? ……….

“Do we go back to the TARDIS?” I asked quietly. 

Oliver looked back at me. “It wouldn’t hurt to try, I htink.” 

“Okay. Alright.” I straed pressing buttons to open the airlock, ad I felt his hand lsip back into mine. It was nice. 

“Remember, we gotta go fast so we dont die of no air.” I almost said we gotta go fast like sonic the hedgehog but I dont think that was a thing in the sixties so the rereferece would go voer his haid. So anyways he nodded and the airlock opened and we skiddadled out of there back to the TARDISA. I fumbled with the door until I realized that bitch The Dcottro awlays locked the damn thing and I didn’t have a fucking key yet. MOtherfuckier. 

“Okay, so, bad news,” I turned arond to Olvier. “Can’t get in, adn you know we can’t lockpick the TARDIS, so either we go back in and get The Doctros’ key off of his…….um……...youkow…..copres>........or we just die I think.” 

“There’s no other options?” He asked. 

“W. What other option would there be?”

He lat go of my handnd and folded his arms, tappoing a finger on his chin, thinkkming hard. 

“Well,” He said after a hot second. “There’s low gravity, right?”

“Yes…………?” I said. I had a feeling I didnt like where this was going .

“Okay, so, what if, hypotheticall,y we just kinda like, tryied like. Okay, so, you throw me and then while Im in the air I throw you and we just get the fcuk out!”

. . .. .. . .SIR

“Youre lucky we’re friends andithinkimloveyou or else I would just break into the TARDIS and leave you hear. What the FUCK?” I said/ 

“What do you mean? It could work, right?”

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE’S SO MANY THINGS THAT WOULD GO AGAINST THAT!!!!”

“Name one. Name ONE.” 

“The laws of physics?? We’d run out of air before we got out of the atmosphere? THE VACUUM OF SPACE????”

“Maybe for you but I’m built different B-)” 

“. Oliver.” 

“Yes?”

I didnrt say anything, I just stared at him. I hate to say it but I wanted to kiss him so badly it made me look stupid. 

“So I’m right? Youre not saygin anything.” He said .

“N. No youre not. Thats literally the dumberttst thing Ive ever heard. I. Holy shit. We need to go get the keys .” 

I statrted walking back to the lab building. “I’m just SAYING,” Oliver said, “you dont know if itll work until you try it!” 

“Maybe when we aren’t n a life ro death situtaiton, sure! I’ll tr y it! but not right now!” I didnt want to tell him but it wads starting to get hard to breaf for me . 

We started walking bcack to the lab building but around hwlafway their it was getting wayyyy hard for me to do any shit and Oliver notices.

“Um,” He stared “Are you alright?”

“Probably not. Why?” I wheezed in response. 

And then I just kind a fel over. Just a little like not the whole way but yakno one knee on the ground.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooohooohoooooo

ChaPter 20. 

AN: I don’t have anything clever to put here anymore. I’m making swagghetti and meatballs tonight do you want some? Come on down to Basil’s Kitchen (™) I got garlic bread too. 

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I realize di might be um on the verge of suffocated when I was wheezing on da ggroud. Oliver ran over to mwe and helpeed me up. 

“Steven! Are y ui uo okay? :-o” He asked 

“Uhgm I think,” I whexised. “The low oxygen thing fgetgting to me.” 

“Shit! Come on, we need got to get back to the building then!!” He explained .

p!Play problems mother mother 

“Yeah ,. .yeah we do but aeheeeeee would we even make it back there? Liek if I die out here--”

“--Oh my god you are NOT going to die out here what the fuck”

“Okay, but, Im hjsut wsaying that the Doctor fucking died so thog odnt caare!” Like im chillin honeslty “Honestly./? You could just like. . . ..leave me hear.”

Oliver binked at me. “Steven, what the fuck? What the fuck.” 

“Yah?” 

“yOr hjust givinge up like that? After everythign wevbeg beeen through?:”

Idk wh y but i was just ready to snap so I did “Ye!s Whatv else is there we can do? The Dcotorps dead, and even if we got the keys, I barely know how to fly the TARDIS and I KNOW you don’t know how. It d only be so long befoeir we’d end up stranded someewher e. The whole thing about borrowed time and all that . ”

I slumped a little bit, it waas hard to stand up striahgt or even thingk straight. Olive throught over his next words whiel I kinda regretted mine. I mean I wasnt wrong with the whole borrowed time thing but also that was kinda mean. But Im right! We’re going to die anyways, it might as well happen soon er than later. 

“Right, barrowed time. But, you now what? Im still gonga go in thre and get the keys and come back out. I’m ntogiving up!” He hauled me bak upright and I kinda went O_O “And neither are you . Come on! WE enj have ot do this.” 

“Oh um “ Another O_O moment form me hahaha “Okay then . Yea” 

So we elkawi gned hack to the building lab building and I hwas leaning on him very much vecuase my lungs werew kinda giving out actually! We got back into the airclock and it shut behind us andI just sat on the floor for a minteu whistle we were cathcign our breafs. My head was swiminging so I put it in my hands and sat ther ewfor a minute. 

I coudlnt lookg him in the eyes but I “Oliver?”

He audibly went “?” 

I ishgtned. “Thnak you. I m . That was a little fucked of me huh?”

“Nono I get it@! Yuov’e . ...Youve ben through quite a bit of shit, old boy, I dont axpect you to be took happy baout….wellm ,any of it.” 

“I could cry right here you know? Thats the nicest thing Ive heard in a hot minute.” 

“Oh god please dont cry” 

“Dont worryr I wont , I think id suffocate ahgain if I did.” Idk actually I was close to it but I wouldnt. I was still just a litlte schocked that we weren;t dead!

He smield and I maelt .anyways,. “We shoudl pirbabyl go get the keys. “ I said. 

“Right, right , lets” 

So we go t u p and looked around trying to fin dther room we left ehe Doctor in. I didnt wanet to see whatd becom of him so soon affter. . . . ...you know. But we needed to and I didnt want OLiver to see although I geuess he watched hims die which is a WHOLE nothiern thing and we’d probably have to tlak about it on that TARDIS but anyways. We walked in and I had to take a feep dbreath and then imemeditaly regretted it because it still smelled like charred bodies and thats gross! I coughted into my elbow and turned to Oliver. 

“Alrhgihtg, a you rearfdy to see what happened to THe dCotro? “ I askeied gently 

“No , but we need the keys, so let’s. “ He frowned. 

We walked closer to where wed’ left the Dcotro, and I wanted to scream and not rattle anything around like a tin of mints because usually it would b the Doctor I rattled around like a tin of mints except do you know how fucked up that would be now? There he wa onthe floor collapes like a family guy character and ogohhguhguhghgog. Man if any of my past fellow companison could aese me now they probably wouldnt want to trade wherever they got off for where Iwa s. I reached down to the Doctor;s’ pockets and took another deep breath which I instantly regretted again so I just steeled my nervis and . 

The Doctor opened his eye.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21.

AN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I KEEP MISSING UPDATES if this keeps happening you all have the rights to punch me square in the forehead

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“AAAARAGRHGA!!!!!!!!!” I yelled screamed. 

“AAAAHSAHGHG!!!!!!!!!” Oliver yeleld screamed.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAARAHGTGAGFH” We yeleldi spcreamed. 

The doctor took a look bored at us and closed his eye. We stoped screaming yelling. 

“??????DOCTOR???” I said. 

He grumbled, “Shut the fuck up im dead.” And then went right back to being a charred husk on the floor. \

“um. Okay!” Oliver said. “We’re going to ake the kays now,”

The Doctor didnt say anything because hwas pretending to be dead. I dont know if he thought wer were imbicelles or was putting on an act for whatever attacked him but I was just releafed he was actually live. 

Anyways, I took the keys from his pocket which was weird because he was actually aliee so it was ackwauwrd but he didnt try to stop me so! I tossed the keys around in my hand, they had the key and then also a lot of keychains that were justa lot to take in. I never got a good look at the TARDIS keys when the Doctor opened the doors because he always wans hunching over the door but now? Jesus Christ. 

Speaking of which. “They beat jesus with this.” I said remarking the keychains. 

“Youre not fuckgin kidding oh my god. What is that jfunny little cat?” Oliver asked 

“Hello kitty?” I raised an eyebrow

“oh. hello yourself”

“No the character is Hello Kitty” 

“OH” oliver s bald head turned red

“Anyways. We have the keys lets skiddadle daddle doo” 

BUt jstu then we hear d a CRACKLECKEACELACEALK from behind us. 

“Hey whores what are you doing eith those?” Someonde said behind us. They sounded feminine but I swear to god nobody else was in thie damn place so I lookeid around but . Before I looked at whoever was talking Olvier put a hand on my arm and looked at like >:-| and shook his head. I whispered

“Is there anythign else I can do?” 

He grumbled, “No i gues not”

So I looked atht e thing beijing us and it awwas.. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..Elecktricity?


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

AN: Hey sharties 

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“Electrictiy?” I said,. 

“Im a Vardan dumb btihcj.” They sparkled. 

“Oh yeah i know what those are. “ I didnt! and I looked at olver for help, before remembering that in his time they hadn’t even gotten to the moon yet. Baller. 

“You don’t know what a Vardan is don’t you” They shimmer 

“No I don’t X3” 

“Why is the elcryticty talking?” Olivre was lookeidn afraided.

“Lmao I didnt do not know.” 

The Varban crackled for a minute, thinking. “You know, I was going to tell you about my whole backstory and whats goign on my plamet and why Im hear but now I dont what to. Anyways, can i have thos keys?” 

I gripeed them titghetr. “Idk can you ? “ 

They crackle. “Hahah wery vunfy. Give theme to me moetherufkcer!” 

“You dontevnt have hands!” Olvier said, every helpful. “What do you even need them for?” 

“Erm.” If the vardan had a head theyd profbajly look down at their limbless lelcelctricituy body but they didnt so tehy didnt. “Nunya. “ 

My eys widened. “Oliver no!”

Butu it was too late . “What’s nunya?” He askied like he wa s the persoin wining this kinda argument. 

“Nunya business!!!!!!’ The barvan crackled. 

With my key-less hand i paated oliver on the shoulder. “You walked into taht one.” 

He clenched his fistr.s. “Yeahj,” He sighed. “I did” 

“Anyways I gues il tell you what im up to know.” The Vardan was praoibnky slimilgin accept they were electricity so they werent. “I gotta get off this shit colony planet because my own planet is dying as fuck so i was sent here hand now im gonan bring more vardans and wer’e gonna gtfo out of here.”

“Soooo……” I genstustered with my key hand, “WHy do you need the keys to tha TARDIS?” 

“well its earsiser to use a macshine then just wander around the universrre right?”

“Not rally, your electricity, you travel at the speep of light.” 

The Vardan was quiet. for a minute. 

Oliver nodded. “Ya! (Is that right?)” 

I thogt. “Yeah, it sis i think.” 

“--Ok well anyways itd also be pretty swag if we could get a few vessels. Cant do muchas just electrivity.” The vardan said

“We?....” 

“yah I sai dI was bringing more Vardans right?”

“.................I jsut remembered I left something in the other room Olvier can u come with me?” 

He looked at me with oen of those fond and concerned looks again and I really just. Anyways. “Yeha of course oold boy lets skiddadle. Excuse us for a minute!” 

The Vardan didnt say antthyintg but they left us leave for some reason. I took another look at the doctor playing dead on the floor, and motuhesd “Sorry” to him. I dont know if he saw me because hes eyes were closed but if we was still alive after being electrocudted I bed he coudl have.


End file.
